jonchristiansen.net Blog


Is this Paul Rapaso?

Posted in Asshole, DOUCHEBAGS, Paul Raposo, douchebag, douchebag catholics by Jon on the October 9th, 2008

Asshole Paul Rapaso

Asshole

Paul Raposo

Posted in Paul Raposo, douchebag, gay by Jon on the October 9th, 2008

My blog is not meant to be read by douchebags named Paul Raposo.  Fuck you, dude!

HOT GUY IN MY WRITING CLASS

So…I’ve been taking a writing class.  It’s a community college type of thing and since it’s in West Hollywood I’d hoped that there would be hot guys there.  I was sadly mistaken as the class is mostly filled with hot mess and old people.  Anyway…I deal. 

On Monday I assumed the session would be the same as usual…wrong!  A few minutes after the class starts I look up and see this vision walking into the room and he comes right up and sits directly in front of me.  I hear the sound of a choir and the voices of angels.  This guy is STUNNING!  The only word to describe him is stunning, STUNNING!  My idea of the PERFECT man.  After five weeks this Heaven sent creature walks in.  Wow!

Needless to say I didn’t hear a fucking word the instructor said for the next hour and a half as I sat with my mouth open, totally focused on this guy.  I think she caught me staring at him a few times too.  Oh well.  I totally composed poems in his honor and even named our children and decided where they’d go to university.  I think Princeton will do.

When the half point of the class came we were given a break.  I rushed to the rest room to check myself out and make sure I was presentable enough to meet my husband.  When I got back out these two WHORE SKANK CUNT SLEEZEBAG BITCHES were already talking to him.  Cock blocking TRASH!  I thought for a moment about interrupting them and knocking the whores down onto the pavement, but I didn’t want to make a bad impression on him.  One of these chicks already told the class that she’s a young mother and she regrets having her kid, so I thought about going up to her and asking how her kid was or if she managed to get rid of him yet.  That wouldn’t have been classy, so I just watched her and the other hatchet faced TRAMP giggle and flirt with him like COMMON STREET WALKERS.

I’m not really worried about the competition, ‘cuz the one chick is a bitter single mother and the other looks like she’s eating fire.  Hopefully he has more sense than to fuck either one of them, but you never know.

I spent the rest of the class trying to impress him with my wit and humor.  You know how it goes when you’re trying to impress someone, it usually backfires.  The rest of the class is looking at me like “What the fuck!”, since during the past five weeks I’ve barely spoken a word and now suddenly I’m Lisa Lampanelli.  Plus, my wit and humor usually comes off to most people as bitchy and cunty, so hopefully I didn’t make him think I’m an asshole.

At the end of the night I didn’t even get to talk to him alone.  Oh well.  So, basically the rest of this week is being spent on a dieting and exercise regime.  I’ve also come up with a multitude of Lucy and Ethel type schemes to set in motion next Monday.  We’ll see how I do.