jonchristiansen.net Blog


HOT GUY IN MY WRITING CLASS

So…I’ve been taking a writing class.  It’s a community college type of thing and since it’s in West Hollywood I’d hoped that there would be hot guys there.  I was sadly mistaken as the class is mostly filled with hot mess and old people.  Anyway…I deal. 

On Monday I assumed the session would be the same as usual…wrong!  A few minutes after the class starts I look up and see this vision walking into the room and he comes right up and sits directly in front of me.  I hear the sound of a choir and the voices of angels.  This guy is STUNNING!  The only word to describe him is stunning, STUNNING!  My idea of the PERFECT man.  After five weeks this Heaven sent creature walks in.  Wow!

Needless to say I didn’t hear a fucking word the instructor said for the next hour and a half as I sat with my mouth open, totally focused on this guy.  I think she caught me staring at him a few times too.  Oh well.  I totally composed poems in his honor and even named our children and decided where they’d go to university.  I think Princeton will do.

When the half point of the class came we were given a break.  I rushed to the rest room to check myself out and make sure I was presentable enough to meet my husband.  When I got back out these two WHORE SKANK CUNT SLEEZEBAG BITCHES were already talking to him.  Cock blocking TRASH!  I thought for a moment about interrupting them and knocking the whores down onto the pavement, but I didn’t want to make a bad impression on him.  One of these chicks already told the class that she’s a young mother and she regrets having her kid, so I thought about going up to her and asking how her kid was or if she managed to get rid of him yet.  That wouldn’t have been classy, so I just watched her and the other hatchet faced TRAMP giggle and flirt with him like COMMON STREET WALKERS.

I’m not really worried about the competition, ‘cuz the one chick is a bitter single mother and the other looks like she’s eating fire.  Hopefully he has more sense than to fuck either one of them, but you never know.

I spent the rest of the class trying to impress him with my wit and humor.  You know how it goes when you’re trying to impress someone, it usually backfires.  The rest of the class is looking at me like “What the fuck!”, since during the past five weeks I’ve barely spoken a word and now suddenly I’m Lisa Lampanelli.  Plus, my wit and humor usually comes off to most people as bitchy and cunty, so hopefully I didn’t make him think I’m an asshole.

At the end of the night I didn’t even get to talk to him alone.  Oh well.  So, basically the rest of this week is being spent on a dieting and exercise regime.  I’ve also come up with a multitude of Lucy and Ethel type schemes to set in motion next Monday.  We’ll see how I do.

Hot Piece

Posted in Extra Hotness, Fierce, Jon Christiansen, douchebag by Jon on the August 13th, 2008

What a hot piece.

jon christiansen hor small.jpg

Hot Piece

I watched “Meet the Spartans” today.  Shitty movie.  But, there’s this hot piece named Sean Maguire who was the lead.  I IMDB’d him.  Whoa!  I didn’t realize he was the hot piece from that crappy sitcom “The Class”.  He is sooo hot! 

I wonder if he’s gay.  I hope so.  If he is he can feel free to email me.

Hillary Wins!

Do you all know how fucking revolutionary this is?  Do you know that you are witnessing history?  This is like ‘where were you when Kennedy was shot’.  Remember this day.  It is one of the greatest days in American HISTORY!  Hillary has won Ohio and she’s won TEXAS!!!!!  This is the greatest day ever that was in my adult life. 

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Posted in Extra Gay, Extra Hotness, Pam, Uncategorized, funny, greatest movie ever by Jon on the February 15th, 2008

Sarah Silverman RULES!

Posted in Bea Arthur, Extra Gay, Extra Hotness, Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Uncategorized, funny by Jon on the October 26th, 2007

Sarah Silverman FUCKING RULES!  Have you seen the show?  It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.  She is fucking genius.  Love her.  Watch it on Comedy Central.

Robbie and PSB

Posted in Extra Hotness, Robbie Williams by Jon on the March 19th, 2007

Robbie Williams with the Pet Shop Boys.  Damn, this is extra gay!  “She’s Madonna”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U660eMI-xPw

Robbie Williams

Posted in Extra Hotness, Robbie Williams by Jon on the March 19th, 2007

Why have I gotten so obsessed with Robbie Williams lately?  I just eat up everything Robbie.  He is so super hotness.  I’ve been watching a lot of Robbie on YouTube.  His videos are fantastic.  Check him out at Live 8 below.  I had no idea he was such a fantastic performer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y64azNZvDw 

Why,oh why is he not popular in the U.S.?